,
(set: $word to (prompt:"Enter a word to find the definition: ",""))
(set: $word to(upperfirst: $word))
(if: not($word contains "a" or "b" or "c" or "d" or "e" or "f" or "g" or "h" or "i" or "j" or "k" or "l" or "m" or "n" or "o" or "p" or "q" or "r" or "s" or "t" or "u" or "v" or "w" or "x" or "y" or "z"))[(goto: "symbols")]
(if: $word is "April")[(goto: "april")]
(if: $word is "Ezgi")[(goto: "ezgi")]
(if: $word is "Sam" or "Brother")[(goto: "sam")]
(if: $word is "Mom" or "Laura")[(goto: "mom")]
(if: $word is "Baba" or "Dad")[(goto: "baba")]
(if: $word is "Grandma" or "Barbara" or "Babs")[(goto: "grandma")]
(if: $word is "Rocko" or "Rock" or "Rocco")[(goto: "rok")]
(if: $word is "Lola")[(goto: "lola")]
(if: $word is "Stephen")[(goto: "stephen")]
(if: $word is "Wizard")[(goto: "wizard")]
(if: $word is "Darius Toczylowski")[(goto: "darius")]
(if: $word is "Crush")[(goto: "crush")]
(if: $word is "Amelie Morrow" or "Amelie")[(goto: "amelie")]
(if: $word is "Old friends")[(goto: "old friends")]
(if: $word is "Caroline" or "Caroline McCall")[(goto: "caroline")]
(if: $word is "Aunt Patti" or "Patti")[(goto: "aunt")]
(if: $word is "OCD" or "Ocd" or "Anxiety" or "Mental illness")[(goto: "ocd")]
(if: $word is "Soulmate")[(goto: "soulmate")]
(if: $word is "You")[(goto: "you")]
(if: $word is "Me")[(goto: "me")]
(if: $word is "Corona" or "Corona virus" or "COVID-19")[(goto: "corona")]
(if: $word is "Makeup" or "Make up")[(goto: "makeup")]
(if: $word is "Lola")[(goto: "lola")]
(if: $word is "Lola")[(goto: "lola")]
(if: $word is "Fuck" or "Shit" or "Ass" or "Cunt" or "Dick" )[(goto: "swears")]
(if: $word is "Macy Hoffman" or "Sofia O'Reilly")[(goto: "I don't miss you anymore")]
(if: $word's 1st is "A")[(goto: "a")]
(if: $word's 1st is "B")[(goto: "b")]
(if: $word's 1st is "C")[(goto: "c")]
(if: $word's 1st is "D")[(goto: "d")]
(if: $word's 1st is "E")[(goto: "e")]
(if: $word's 1st is "F")[(goto: "f")]
(if: $word's 1st is "G")[(goto: "g")]
(if: $word's 1st is "H")[(goto: "h")]
(if: $word's 1st is "I")[(goto: "i")]
(if: $word's 1st is "J")[(goto: "j")]
(if: $word's 1st is "K")[(goto: "k")]
(if: $word's 1st is "L")[(goto: "l")]
(if: $word's 1st is "M")[(goto: "m")]
(if: $word's 1st is "N")[(goto: "n")]
(if: $word's 1st is "O")[(goto: "o")]
(if: $word's 1st is "P")[(goto: "p")]
(if: $word's 1st is "Q")[(goto: "q")]
(if: $word's 1st is "R")[(goto: "r")]
(if: $word's 1st is "S")[(goto: "s")]
(if: $word's 1st is "T")[(goto: "t")]
(if: $word's 1st is "U")[(goto: "u")]
(if: $word's 1st is "V")[(goto: "v")]
(if: $word's 1st is "W")[(goto: "w")]
(if: $word's 1st is "X")[(goto: "x")]
(if: $word's 1st is "Y")[(goto: "y")]
(if: $word's 1st is "Z")[(goto: "z")]
(if: $word contains "," or "." or "/", or "?" or "'" or ";" or ":" or "[" or "]" or "}" or "{" or "=" or "+" or "-" or "_" or ")" or "(" or "*" or "&" or "&" or "^" or "%" or "$" or "#" or "@" or "!" or "`" or "~")[(goto:"symbols")] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the feeling of free falling through space. It's the colour red.
It's january 15th, the day he died.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the sound the wind makes when the world comes to a stop. An eerie feeling between memories of love and loneliness.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word means the world falling on your shoulders, and waking up from nightmares when the weight gets too much to bear.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word feels like getting too cold on a winter night.
Hovering your hands on top of a flame to draw out the pins and needles of frost; replacing them with the ache of heat.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the sting of salt on your tongue and grit on your teeth. Foods that hurt to eat and clog in your throat.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the first time you apologize to your skeleton. When you say that you’re sorry for being scared of it, of yourself, of mortality.
**Alt.** The first time you feel okay carrying a memento mori.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the action of reflecting too hard on your words. It means sitting in bed and spiralling into unreasonable bouts of guilt and embarrassment. Being apologetic that you take up space.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
The action of growing flowers out of your skin. Planting seeds in your lungs and layers; of losing your life to gardening.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the consequence of finding corpses in the backyard. It’s every story that comes after digging up the graves of unsolved mysteries—
bodies that should be long dead.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is indulging yourself in bad habits. Habits you won’t be able to break when you need to; mental illness that lingers in the corners of your mind you can’t touch.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
Categorizing everyone you know into groups of ‘like’ and ‘betrayed me.’
Can sometimes mean exacting revenge on those who forgot your name.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is drinking sweet tea under the summer sun.
**Alt.** A simile: Ageing tea leaves and ageing, wrinkly skin.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word means making strange eye contact with a cat across the street. It means feeling understanding in things you don’t understand. Communicating through living eyes.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is falling in love with those who feel unloveable. It’s taking the hand of those who have lost their path and kissing them on the head.
It’s forgetting to take a breath. Becoming blind to every superficial fault.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the best sleep you would get all year. On Christmas Eve, the feeling of certainty that nothing bad will happen to you.
The loophole you found to drop all anxiety like it was nothing.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word means dancing with ghosts just beyond the veil. Opening up your heart and falling in love with the spirits that used to haunt you.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]]
(css: "font-size: 400%")[(color: white)[THE ROK]]
(if: not ($l contains "Rock" or "Rocko" or "Rocco"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] Welcome to the dictionary.
(set: $l to (a:))
Enter in words to find any definition!
(set: $c to 0)
[[Search->search]]
(color: red)[<u>**$word**</u>
The name of my guitar. The month of my little brother. The name of future daughters and girls made out of flowers. ]
(if: not ($l contains "April"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ](set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] Previously searched words:
(print: $l.join(", "))
$c / 10
[[Search New->search]] [[Clear Seach History]](set: $len to $word's length - 1)(set: $thi to (repeated: $len, "☆"))
<u>**(print: $word's 1st)(print: $thi.join(''))**</u>
Why don't you try urban dictionary for that one?
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**Sorry, no definition.</u>**
Make sure to avoid symbols like ,!@#$%^%&*)]}\
and that your search does not start with a space.
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: green)[<u>**$word**</u>
$word is my name. Sometimes I don’t like it much. Sometimes I do. It’s supposed to mean melody.
(if: not ($l contains "Ezgi"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ]
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: purple)[<u>**$word**</u>
She’s (if: $word is "Laura")[mom.] She's my protector and my guide. She taught me how to love and how to overcome. She is the one thing that stands still amidst chaos. (unless I wake her up from sleeping//—then she is a great force of chaos I do not wish to anger lol.//)
I love u.
(if: not ($l contains "Laura" or "Mom"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: red)[<u>**$word**</u>
(if: $word is "Sam")[My little brother.] I miss the days when I could knock him over with a push to the head. A nerd who is the polar opposite of me. My oldest friend.
I'm grateful that I got to have you as a sibling growing up.
(if: not ($l contains "Sam" or "Brother"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ](set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: blue)[<u>**$word**</u>
I miss him. Sometimes. I miss the idea of who he was supposed to be.
I can't blame him for being sick. I can't blame myself anymore.
(if: not ($l contains "Baba" or "Dad"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: purple)[<u>**$word**</u>
One of my favourite human beings on this planet. We're alike in a lot of ways, and I know I was given my artist bones from her. I would be a different person without her.
I'm lucky to have such creative and loving influence in my life.
(if: not ($l contains "Grandma" or "Barbara" or "Babs"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is eating cheerios with sugar and watching cartoons early Saturday morning.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is the action of burying dead birds you stumble across. Throwing a funeral for only you and their carcass. Feeling the presence of something bigger than you as you speak a eulogy to nobody.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word is lying down in the snow and letting the cold sink into your body.
Dreaming about what the grey sky overhead feels like to touch, while breathing out clouds.
$word is the blurry slowing of time.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
The presence of tall pine trees filling every sense. Letting the whispers of leaves take off some of the pressure in your head; the heavy humaness you carry with you.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word feels like broken bones after your friends beat you down with your own limbs. It’s hurting from the inside out and speaking words they’ll never hear.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word means doing a deed that’s neither good nor bad. An action that results in zero karma produced.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] Previously searched words:
(set: $l to (a:))
(set: $c to 0)
[[Search New->search]] [[Clear Seach History]] <u>**$word**</u>
The sequence of running your hands through soft grass, drinking river water, and dying a romantic death soon afterwards.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
The action of following sounds in the dark and finding places you didn’t know existed.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
The smell of sickness and flu. Water in your chest. Being tied down in a room by chains made of lethargy and aching joints.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
$word means leaving the spider in the corner of the room and giving it a name. Even after months have passed, and you know only his body remains, you still sometimes think little messages to it.
“it’s only you and me, little friend."
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: red + purple)[<u>**$word**</u>
RIP cutie. I love u and I miss u.
(if: not ($l contains "Lola"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: green)[<u>**$word**</u>
$word is my water dragon. He sits on the mantelpiece in the livingroom and spells his name with a ph.
A legend.
(if: not ($l contains "Lola"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: black + purple)[<u>**$word**</u>
I don't ask for much. I want to fall in love with a wizard someday.
(if: not ($l contains "Wizard"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: blue + white)[<u>**$word**</u>
I miss them too. But it hurts too much now.
The more time I've had to think, the more I realize they were horrible to me. I think I just miss the security of having them now.
$word means thinking back on things and realizing that they were hurting me for months. That they aren't lonely without me like I am without them. That they haven't cared for a while now, I think.
they won't ever understand.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: green)[<u>**$word**</u>
You hurt me. A lot.
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: orange)[<u>**$word**</u>
Guy I had a really big crush on and I'm pretty sure knew it too lol. Thanks for being cool and not making it weird.
I'm pretty sure this was my first crush ever. Pretty time consuming!
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
I had my first one in grade 12. It's pretty embarassing. And time consuming, apparently.
Sometimes I feel like I'm behind everyone else in maturing.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: red)[<u>**$word**</u>
I love u beech. I know you're going to conquer the world some day and I will always be there supporting you.
If there's one person who deserves a happy ending to their story it would be you. You're going to have happy ending some day.
(if: not ($l contains "Amelie" or "Amelie Morrow"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] (color: green + blue)[<u>**$word**</u>
Honestly one of the coolest people I know. You're the kind of person who can succeed in anything, and I know you're going to go on to do amazing things someday.
I have so many great memories with you, thank you for putting up with me and being my friend through all these years. :)
(if: not ($l contains "Caroline" or "Caroline McCall"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
They'll be flawed and cute. They'll be the person I can finally tell everything to. Who I won't have to lie to.
For the very first time, tell someone about everything I've never said out loud. And they'll let me carry the things that weigh on them, too.
I hold onto the idea of you when things get hard.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: green + blue)[<u>**$word**</u>
A really cool person who I get to call my aunt.
I really appreciate the time we spend with you going to the farmers market and visiting, more than you probably know. I love you!
(css: "font-size: 50%")+(text-style: "upside-down")+(text-style: "mirror")[also I'm sorry I'm not very good at texting you back lol. ]
(if: not ($l contains "Aunt Patti" or "Patti"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word)) [[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
Mental illness is a secret I keep tucked away in my pocket. I used to feel resentment towards people who could talk about it so openly—I thought suffering meant being alone. I still kind of think that. Mental illness makes me believe nobody deserves the burden of my problems.
I'll get around to sorting it out. Someday.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: black + purple)[<u>**Me**</u>
I'm nothing but poorly written code and sad definitions.
I'm lonely and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve better than feeling like this. Maybe I don't. I want someone to tell me that I'm doing well and that things will turn out okay.
(if: not ($l contains "You"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
Fuck corona, man.
I miss school so much.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] (color: black + blue)[<u>**You**</u>
You're a screen away from me. And you're loved. And you're doing great.
You're going to be okay.
(if: not ($l contains "Me"))[ (set: $c to it + 1) ] (set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] ] <u>**$word**</u>
The time it is right now. I can hear birds.
I'm tired.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]] <u>**$word**</u>
I made a pros and cons list recently. When corona break is over I think I'm going to start wearing it. Even though I don't really want to. And I don't want to lose confidence in my normal face. And it feels a little unfair that I have to hide my face to be more succesful as a woman, but the pros outweigh all my cons.
If I really don't like it I'll stop wearing it. I want to be pretty. I want people to look at me like //"that".// I want to feel feminine and more like other girls. I don't know.
(set: $l to $l + (a: $word))
[[History->previous]] [[Search New->search]]